Ashes....

Things have never come easy to me....ever. It seems that we have had to work hard for and earn everything we have.....and in a moment, a blink of an eye.....it can be gone. It took several minutes for it to actually register in me when my husband phoned this evening with bad news....news that someone had broken in to our trailer, and then burned it to the ground. We had nothing of incredible value there, but we really don't own much of value and as I said before, we have to work hard for everything we have. The one thing that trailer was for me was my peace, my escape that rejuvenates me when I have had all I can take, my solace...and our back up plan, a place to go if all else failed, and it is gone. I feel violated beyond consolation. It doesn't matter that it was insured any replacement will just leave me waiting for it to happen again. My little desert oasis hidden from the world was found and desecrated by a stranger who didn't look twice....he didn't take notice of four little winter coats that kept my children warm...he didn't take notice of the stocks of medical supplies that are used to care for my little boy, his special chair...probably the most expensive thing up there. He helped himself to our food storage...and sleeping bags that we had to save up to buy. One set of footprints in and out....such disregard. It was just a thing, the trailer, to him. But it was more to me, and I feel violated...empty....broken.